#MentalHealth Myth Five: Just take medication

Experience gained from my 30+ years practice in cognitive-behavioral psychology shows that, when given the right tools, people readily learn to elevate and maintain emotional health and happiness.

At the Think Right Feel Right Blogoscope you will find the behavioral tools and techniques that help to ward off #anxiety, depression and addiction.  You will learn about ways to defeat troubling emotions such as anger, worry and sadness.  You will also find practical #self-help strategies for increasing self-esteem, positivity and for being a happier you. 

Myths and misunderstandings about  mental health and emotional well-being abound.  We think we can change, or we doubt real change is possible. We hear that #happiness is attainable; then we hear that it is limited by our "setpoint." 

We are told that mental health may be largely genetic and are left thinking that our emotions and behavior patterns are indelible patterns, like fixed personality traits.  We burden ourselves with the shame that these problems are somehow our fault.  We are embarrassed by emotional problems and avoid talking about them.  

If we have "issues," we see ourselves as being different from others. We try to fix ourselves with talk therapy.  We go the medication route.  Or we ignore emotional problems and our cup rarely gets above half full.  Change is too difficult, too little, impossible.  Just give me some drugs.  No medication for me thank you, medication only hides the problem.

We pay a big price because of the myths and misconceptions about happiness and emotional health.  Those who are willing to search for greater fulfillment often expend considerable time and money on the journey.  Too often, their journey is long, the road signs vague, and success limited.  Others avoid the journey altogether, staying stuck in their struggles over a lifetime. We can indeed learn how to possess good mental health, but first we must cut through the jumble of misconceptions that stand in the way.

#MentalHealth Myth Five: Just take medication.  Medication may help, but we really do need to take a careful look before we leap.  As noted in the previous blog, there is a lot more to good mental health that medication can not and will not ever fix.  

To be mentally well, we must have or acquire essential behavioral skills that engender mental health.  These skills include the ability to regulate thought and emotion, to maintain self-esteem and self-care, to promote positive mood states, and to sustain these and other adaptive behaviors over time.  The capacity to limit emotional distress, attentiveness to self-nurturance, heightened resilience and increased well-being are key indicators of good mental health. 

Pills may relieve certain symptoms, but they won't educate us. Medication will never give us the skills we need to attain good emotional health. This is precisely why current trends in healthcare, trends that promote and over rely on pharmacological and symptom-focused interventions as their fix for mental health problems, so frequently miss their mark.  

We need better answers. We need answers that fundamentally improve our ability to be healthier and happier, not ones that may only mask our problems.  In this regard, making cutting-edge, evidence-based instruction on mental health and wellness part of the regular curriculum in our schools would be a huge step forward.  For more on these topics, be sure to follow #ThinkRightFeelRight

Myth Four: Good #Mental Health equals the absence of disturbing symptoms such as anxiety, depression, and addiction.

Experience gained from my 30+ years practice in cognitive-behavioral psychology shows that, when given the right tools, people readily learn to elevate and maintain emotional health and happiness.

At the Think Right Feel Right Blogoscope you will find the behavioral tools and techniques that help to ward off #anxiety, depression and addiction.  You will learn about ways to defeat troubling emotions such as anger, worry and sadness.  You will also find practical #self-help strategies for increasing self-esteem, positivity and for being a happier you. 

Myths and misunderstandings about  mental health and emotional well-being abound.  We think we can change, or we doubt real change is possible. We hear that #happiness is attainable; then we hear that it is limited by our "setpoint." 

We are told that mental health may be largely genetic and are left thinking that our emotions and behavior patterns are indelible patterns, like fixed personality traits.  We burden ourselves with the shame that these problems are somehow our fault.  We are embarrassed by emotional problems and avoid talking about them.  

If we have "issues," we see ourselves as being different from others. We try to fix ourselves with talk therapy.  We go the medication route.  We ignore emotional problems and our cup rarely gets above half full.  Change is too difficult, too little, impossible.  Just give me some drugs.  No medication for me thank you, medication only hides the problem.

We pay a big price because of the myths and misconceptions about happiness and emotional health.  Those who are willing to search for greater fulfillment often expend considerable time and money on the journey.  Too often, their journey is long, the road signs vague, and success limited.  Others avoid the journey altogether, staying stuck in their struggles over a lifetime. We can indeed learn how to possess good mental health, but first we must cut through the jumble of misconceptions that stand in the way.

Myth Four: Good #Mental Health equals the absence of disturbing symptoms such as #anxiety, depression,  and #addiction.  Not really.  Mental health is not simply the absence of mental disorders or psychological symptoms.  Mental Health is something much more.  Being mentally well involves gaining key behavioral skills including the ability to regulate thought and emotion, maintain self-esteem and self-care, promote positive mood states, and sustain other adaptive behavior over time. Reduced emotional disturbance, attentiveness to self-nurturance, resilience and increased well-being are some of the affirmative indications of good mental health.  Stay tuned to #ThinkRightFeelRight for practical #self-help.

#MentalHealth Myth Three: "Emotional change is hard."

Experience gained from my 30+ years practice in cognitive-behavioral psychology shows that, when given the right tools, people readily learn to elevate and maintain emotional health and happiness.

At the Think Right Feel Right Blogoscope you will find the behavioral tools and techniques that help to ward off #anxiety, depression and addiction.  You will learn about ways to defeat troubling emotions such as anger, worry and sadness.  You will also find practical #self-help strategies for increasing self-esteem, positivity and for being a happier you. 

Myths and misunderstandings about  mental health and emotional well-being abound.  We think we can change, or we doubt real change is possible. We hear that #happiness is attainable; then we hear that it is limited by our "setpoint."  We are told that mental health may be largely genetic.  We are left thinking that our emotions and behavior patterns are indelible, fixed patterns like some personality traits.  We burden ourselves with the shame that our emotional problems are somehow our fault.  We are embarrassed by emotional problems and avoid talking about them.  If we have"issues," we see ourselves as being different from others.  We try to fix ourselves with talk therapy.  We go the medication route.  We ignore emotional problems and remain with our cup half full.  Change is too difficult, too little, impossible.  Just give me some drugs.  No medication for me, medication just hides the problem.

We pay a big price because of the myths and misconceptions about happiness and emotional health.  For those willing to try to improve how they feel, a lot of time and money is spent on the journey.  Too often, the journey is long, the road signs vague, and success limited.  Others avoid the journey altogether, staying stuck in their struggles over a lifetime.  We can indeed learn how to possess good mental health, but first we must cut through the jumble of misconceptions that stand in the way.

Myth Three: "Seems like it will be really hard to change myself"  Almost everyone I work with has this idea somewhere in the back of their head.  Alright, I suppose that change does look difficult when we are taught so little about how to change our emotions and behavior.  But trust me, once we find out how to do it, change is not that difficult. Change allows us to open the door to emotional fulfillment; avoiding change keeps this door locked.  More to follow here, but in the interim, #ThinkRightFeelRight   

#MentalHealth Myth Two: "If I have emotional problems, that means there is something wrong with me."

Experience gained from my 30+ years practice in cognitive-behavioral psychology shows that, when given the right tools, people readily learn to elevate and maintain emotional health and happiness.

At the Think Right Feel Right Blogoscope you will find the behavioral tools and techniques that help to ward off #anxiety, depression and addiction.  You will learn about ways to defeat troubling emotions such as anger, worry and sadness.  You will also find practical self-help strategies for increasing self-esteem, positivity and for being a happier you. 

Myths and misunderstandings about  mental health and emotional well-being abound.  We think we can change, or we doubt real change is possible. We hear that #happiness is attainable; then we hear that it is limited by our "setpoint."  We are told that mental health may be largely genetic.  We are left thinking that our emotions and behavior patterns are indelible, fixed patterns like some personality traits.  We burden ourselves with the shame that our emotional problems are somehow our fault.  We are embarrassed by emotional problems and avoid talking about them.  If we have"issues," we see ourselves as being different from others.  We try to fix ourselves with talk therapy.  We go the medication route.  We ignore emotional problems and our cup rarely gets above half full.  Change is too difficult, too little, impossible.  Just give me some drugs.  No medication for me, medication just hides the problem.


We pay a big price because of the myths and misconceptions about happiness and emotional health.  For those willing to try, a lot of time and money are spent on the journey.  Too often, the journey is long, the road signs vague, and success limited.  Others avoid the journey altogether, staying stuck in their struggles over a lifetime.  We can indeed learn how to possess good mental health, but first we must cut through the jumble of misconceptions that stand in the way.

Myth two: "If I have emotional problems, that means there is something wrong with me."  Not so quick.  Maybe we are not very good at bowling or chess either.  Should we conclude that there is something wrong with us?  As I mentioned previously, most of us learn very little about mental health or the best ways to improve it.  So it should come as no surprise that we may have "issues."  We are not taught the "emotional A game," so to speak.  But should we all line up for psychiatric intervention, or can we simply learn what's necessary to feel well. How sad and wrong-headed it is that we continue to stigmatize people with mental health issues and vastly overplay the idea that they have medical disorders. 

Emotional proficiency requires skill.  For example, the ability to reliably regulate thoughts and emotions and posess intrinsic #SelfEsteem. Recognize that those who taught us probably were not experts in such matters, so we often lack these skills.   In the meanwhile, we need to lighten up. Stop making ourselves  feel bad if we are not bowling or behavioral health experts.  If your emotional expertise isn't all that great, you share company with most people.  More important, If you would like to improve your emotional well-being (and most would benefit by doing so), you can ... and no, it's really not difficult.  More on this last point next time. Stay with #ThinkRightFeelRight.Net

#MentalHealth Myth One: "It's not something I can change, I have tried before."

Sadly, our notions about whether we can actually change who we are, about how much lasting change is possible, and about the best ways to improve mental health are all over the map.  We are exposed to widely divergent theories and persistent misconceptions about mental health. Far too often, the focus is on diagnosis and treatment of mental problems rather than methods that actually improve mental health.   Small wonder that the path to better mental health and happiness is so clouded and uncertain.

We think we can change, or we doubt real change is possible. We hear that #happiness is attainable; then we hear that it is limited to our "setpoint."  We are told that mental health may be largely genetic.  We are left thinking that our emotions and behavior patterns are indelible, fixed patterns like some personality traits.  We burden ourselves with the thought and shame that our emotional problems are the result of some deficiency in us that we are responsible for. We are embarrassed by our emotional problems and prefer not to even talk about them. We look upon ourselves as different if we have "issues."  We try to fix ourselves with talk therapy.  We go the medication route.  We ignore emotional problems and our cup never gets above half full.  Change is too difficult, too little, too impossible. Just give me some drugs. Drugs just hide the problem, I don't want any.

We pay a big price because of the myths and misconceptions about mental health. For those willing to try, a lot of time and money is spent on the journey.  Too often, the journey is long, the road signs vague, and success limited.  Others avoid the journey altogether; they stay stuck in their struggles and #happiness is forestalled over a lifetime.  We can indeed learn how to possess good mental health, but first we must cut through the jumble of misconceptions that stand in the way.

Myth One: "It's not something I can change, I have tried before."  Not so.   We are unlikely to have success doing something until we acquire the necessary skills. Most of us learn very little about mental health or how to improve it. So, when we try to improve in this area and don't succeed, we may mistakenly conclude that we can't change.  Actually, we can change, we can improve happiness and mental health, when we take the opportunity to learn how. Stay tuned for more #self-help strategies at #ThinkRightFeelRight

Do You Believe You Can Really Change Who You Are?

So, do you think you can really change yourself?   A very important question since how we answer it determines the outcome.  A prerequisite for successful behavior change is the belief that we can change, or at least the willingness to try.

Some think they can change, some think they can't, and some are on the fence about it.  Unfortunately, those who stay anchored to the belief that they really can't change are pretty much stuck with the default settings they have for what they think, how they feel, and how they function. Too often, these default settings are far from good enough.

Perhaps there are a few people whose blessed lives leave little need for improvement. Lucky for them I suppose, but there are so many more whose lives would vastly improve if  they were open and able to change.  Addictions, depression, anxieties, insecurities could be put behind them; the comforts of self-esteem, genuine peace of mind and happiness made part of everyday life.

There is a very fundamental reason why so many struggle emotionally, but don't change:  The reason is that we are not taught how to change behavior proficiently, especially emotional behavior. So, if we are unable to experience well-being and happiness, chances are we never learned how to because we were never taught.  Ask yourself, did your schooling include any courses (even one) on mental or emotional health?  Most important, did you learn how to regulate your thoughts and emotions so you could control the way you feel?  My sense is that many people are not even aware that this is possible.  Were they hoping we would learn this stuff by the seat of our pants?

I found I couldn't even swing a tennis racket very well until I took some tennis lessons.  Certainly mental health is no gimme; it is not something we are born with, and  it is not something that just develops on its own.  Since what we learn and don't learn decisively affects our capacity to be well emotionally, educational programs need to be in the business of instilling behavior competencies that build emotional health.  How sad it is that we still do not have a standardized curriculum for mental health in our classrooms.  Like tennis and so much more in life, we can't be very good at these things without the opportunity to develop the necessary skills..

If we struggle, but are fearful about change, we resist it.  But once we learn how to go about it, changing becomes relatively easy, a valued asset rather than something to fear. We are then able to use this knowledge to optimize and maintain emotional adjustment and well-being.  In future posts, I intend to sort through and demolish, one by one,  the erroneous notions and beliefs that keep us from realizing growth and happiness. Stay tuned for more practical  #self-help at #ThinkRightFeelRight

It Pays To Be Mindful About What You Think!

A point from my last post bears repeating: "Over a lifetime, the impact of some mental scripts on our emotional health and well-being can be telling and dramatic: lives haunted by mindsets generative of anxiety, depression and addiction or lives enriched by self-awareness and fertile for positivity and prosperity."

For many, but especially for women, commonplace scripts about how they should think and  behave overtax physical and emotional health, causing stress, health issues, bouts of depression and anxiety, and reduced quality of life.

These troublesome thought patterns are difficult to detect.  Our thoughts become so routine that they go unnoticed   Even if we become aware, we may view this thinking as  "normal" because it seems like the norm in the world around us. To avoid their life long tolls however, we need to root out the toxic scripts that vanquish us.  

Here are a few of the troublemakers:

Example 1: "I feel I must be a very good wife, mother, mother-in-law, daughter, daughter-in-law, partner, friend, worker, churchgoer, housekeeper, gardener, and did I mention, slim and trim?" You get the idea, I have to be good at everything, or I'm not good enough. 

The script has lots of variations, but the end result is the same: a life snared in pressure-driven overfunctioning to always be good enough.  Where did I come by the idea that I have to be so good at everything I do to feel good about myself?  More important, isn't there a better way for me?

Example 2  "I guess I am pretty hard on myself, but I have always been this way.  Aren't most people? Big trouble here. This kind of thinking not only strips away the well from well-being, it fuels self-alienation and insecurity whenever we come up a little short.  Resilience and self-esteem really suffer when we come down or ourselves. Take note that people who battle addiction and depression are known to be especially hard on themselves.  Being tough on ourselves is an option, not a requirement. We can choose other ways to accept or improve upon our limitations that don't jeopardize well-being.

Example 3.  "It really bothers me that she acted like that, but I really don't like to hurt someone's feelings, so I didn't say anything."  Yes, it is nice to be nice, but silencing ourselves to avoid trouble often causes more trouble.  We internalize our problems rather than deal with them.  Problems and resentments pile up. Scripts that muffle our voice also muffle happiness.  Assertiveness is a life skill well worth cultivating. 

Choose to follow scripts that safeguard your emotional health. We don't have to be perfect all the time; we don't have to be so hard on ourselves, and nice does not have to include forfeiting our voice.  Remember to stay tuned to #ThinkRightFeelRight for more useful #self-help

Mindsets: The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly

My last post talked about "reality" and some of our views on it.  I cautioned, "look before you leap" when it comes to settling in on viewpoints about life.  Our acquired mindsets about life carry with them potential for great benefit as well as cost.

Our mindsets are composed of  various notions (beliefs and ideas) that we have acquired over time. Some of these ideas were formed at home or in school while we were growing up; some the product of further education, as well as various cultural, institutional and societal influences.

Much of the content of what we think is the end product of where we were born, how we were raised, and the experience we did and did not have.  Ideas get into our heads by design and default, for better and for worse, often staying with us and influencing our feelings and reactions over a lifetime.

Many things about who we are, both large and small, may be hinged to the winds of circumstance: whether I am Republican or Democrat; liberal, or conservative; devoutly religious, spiritual, neither; optimistic or pessimistic; nuts about sweet potatoes or maybe nuts in general!

The scripts in our mind govern and influence much of what we do and feel, regardless of how they got there or whether they help or hinder.  They allow us to assert, or keep us from asserting. They enable us to be happy or keep us from it.

Scripts matter.  Optimists rarely experience bad days, pessimists seldom have good ones.  For some, being "right" about an issue trumps being respectful; for others, being respectful comes first. Romantics endorse scripts that adorn reality; Realists strip it down.  Some are reflexively "hard" on themselves, others not so much.

Over a lifetime, the impact of these acquired scripts on our emotional health and well-being can be telling and dramatic: lives haunted by mindsets generative of anxiety, depression and addiction or lives enriched by self-awareness and fertile for positivity and prosperity.

The default settings for our mindset need to be examined and adjusted from time to time.  Sort and sift through the scripts; delete notions and viewpoints which impede happiness and prosperity, and add those which better yours and others. Take an active role in shaping and directing the realities you elect to endorse in your world so they help maximize prosperity and well-being.  Remember to stay tuned to #ThinkRightFeelRight for more useful #self-help

Brushes With Reality and Mental Health: Look Before You Leap

Experience gained from my 30+ years  in practice as a cognitive-behavioral psychologist shows that with the right tools people readily learn to elevate and maintain emotional well-being and happiness. 

At the Think Right Feel Right Blogoscope you will find the behavioral tools and techniques that help to ward off anxiety, depression and addiction.  You will learn about ways to defeat troubling emotions such as anger, worry and sadness.  You will also find practical strategies for increasing self-esteem, positivity and for being a happier you. 

Reality and Mental Health: We readily come by the idea that "being in touch with reality" is a pretty important thing.  The word on the street as well as the psychiatrist's office is that we had better be in touch with reality. The message all around us is: keep your head anchored to reality or risk becoming unhinged!  And there we have it, a concise, easy-to-remember strategy for living life while not losing our marbles.

Realists lead the charge with Existentialists not far behind.  Avid realists insist that we see the world for what it is.  So all I need to do is see things the way they are.  OK, but what way is that?  Should I just try to see things the way others do, a few others, a lot of others?  How do I do that?  How do I know if they are even in touch with reality, if they agree on it—or, God forbid, they all  do agree and think that 9/11 was some kind of government conspiracy?

We seem to do a little better with reality when we focus on physical events such as the amount of local rainfall, the magnitude of earth tremors, the average number of hair follicles on the human thumb or how many pledged delegates Senator Ted Cruz has.  Once we move past the empirical however, reality starts to get slippery, skewed by our perceptual and cognitive frames of reference.

Realities involve meanings, and meanings come from the thoughts and beliefs that we have learned to attach to circumstance.  Realities differ.  My reality may be: "life is what you make it." For someone else, its all about "being at the right place at the right time."  I don't think I share many of the realities of ISIS fighters but,  I suppose they would say the same about me.  Marriage is between a man and a woman, true and not so much anymore.  Many realities are anchored in points of view, in our perspectives.  They come and some go away; some help and some hinder.  They form our mindsets about the world—our working theories about things.  

In an attempt to get on the right side of truth and reality, Realists tell us to strip away idealism, romanticism, and positivity from the pages of life's book.  Look at the world the way it really is. Perhaps they find comfort in the belief that they are getting closer to the truths about reality when they strip it down. Unfortunately, realists often get stuck in their realism, believing that it is realistic to think and feel a certain way when such and such happens. They may contend that it is only natural to be sad when your team loses, or say,  "let's be realistic, life is really not a picnic.  Life sucks and I can prove it." What is inescapably true (realistic) about such viewpoints is that those who hold them create a self-fulfilling reality: for them, life does suck.

We need to be cautious, mindful and flexible regarding the views we hold about reality (if there even is one we might know).  Remember this: not only do we own our viewpoints on reality, but they also own us. They let us see and experience things one way but maybe not another way. They help us to see, and they keep us from seeing. Our views about what is real make us happy or miserable.

Too often our sense of reality is shaped more  by the vagaries of circumstance than by us.  Did you form your reality, or did others have a heavy hand?  What would your reality be if you were born and raised in a different time or raised somewhere far away?  Your reality rests upon what you learned, the sources and circumstances, and, of course, what you didn't learn.

It is important to realize that you can author and reauthor how you want to look at your world.  You can create, shape and reshape your realities.  By taking an active hand in assessing the merits of various points of view and notions about reality, you can choose those that strengthen  prosperity and well-being for you and others. You can guide rather than follow "truths and realities" delivered by the winds of circumstance.  By being an active and mindful author and editor of your thoughts on reality, you bolster, rather than limit, opportunities for a fulfilling and mentally healthy life.

Tools And Techniques For Mental Health And Happiness - The Fast Track For Behavior Change: Corrective Cognitions

Experience gained from my 30+ years  in practice as a cognitive-behavioral psychologist shows that with the right tools people readily learn to elevate and maintain emotional well-being and happiness. 

At the Think Right Feel Right Blogoscope you will find the behavioral tools and techniques that help to ward off anxiety, depression and addiction.  You will learn about ways to defeat troubling emotions such as anger, worry and sadness.  You will also find practical strategies for increasing self-esteem, positivity and for being a happier you. 

Why Do Corrective Cognitions Fast Track Behavior Change?  Corrective cognitions change thoughts and, thoughts control behavior.  So, when we use a corrective cognition to change the way we think about something, we change the behavior and feelings that are controlled by this thinking.  If I decide to like catsup, I will feel better about catsup and probably buy and eat more of it.

When we change our thoughts (cognitions), we change.  If I think pitbulls are dangerous, I will be afraid of them and want to avoid them.  A useful corrective cognition in this instance might be, "These dogs have gotten a bad rap.  If they are treated well, they are usually very sweet."  Next thing you know, I might have a pitbull of my own!

We accelerate behavior change by improving the way we think with corrective cognitions.  Losing weight is easier, and more likely, if I think, "I want to be trim and healthy," rather than, "I guess I will have to go on another diet." Improving the way we think, replacing problematic thoughts with better ones, greatly improves our success rate for behavior change and happiness. Remember to stay tuned to #ThinkRightFeelRight for more practical #self-help

How To Lock In Behavior Change: What Does Love Have To Do With It? Part 3

Experience gained from my 30+ years  in practice as a cognitive-behavioral psychologist shows that with the right tools people readily learn to elevate and maintain emotional well-being and happiness. 

At the Think Right Feel Right Blogoscope you will find the behavioral tools and techniques that help to ward off anxiety, depression and addiction.  You will learn about ways to defeat troubling emotions such as anger, worry and sadness.  You will also find practical strategies for increasing self-esteem, positivity and for being a happier you. 

How to Lock In Behavior Change.  Sadly, as New Year's resolutions have shown, good intentions are often ineffective strategies for behavior change.  If we want to succeed at our efforts to lose weight, stop worry, be on time, or acquire self-esteem, we need to follow a strategy that promotes effective follow through. To lock in more successful change, I encourage people to create and follow a six-step plan.  A six-step plan clarifies the necessary elements for behavior change and locks in the essential follow through that is needed for success.  

A six-step plan assures more reliable improvement in self-esteem. Preparing a good plan entails developing clear answers for each of the following: who is responsible, what is the desired behavior, when will it occur, where will it occur, how often will it occur, is the goal attained, and finally, did I miss any steps today.  

So, if I want to improve my self-esteem with a corrective cognition, my six-step plan might look something like this:

1) I will think,

2) I am fully committed to love myself, unconditionally, forever

3) Ten times a day.

4) Prompting this thought each time I use the stairs,

5) For 30 days, or until this new way of thinking becomes my

    customary way of thinking about myself,

6) And, at the end of each day, I will check to make sure that I
    completed my six-step plan and, if not, I will complete steps 2
    and 3 before I go to bed tonight.   

The idea behind  using six-step plans is to make sure that we  have thought through the details about behavior change  and that we are following through on them correctly.  Step 2 highlights the precise wording of the corrective cognition.  Step 6 is there to prevent slippage or failure through oversight. These techniques are discussed in greater detail in Think Right, Feel Right .  

Remember to stay tuned to #ThinkRightFeelRight for more practical #self-help

      

The CBT Tool Set For Self Love: What's Love Got To Do With It? (Part 2)

Experience gained from a 30+ year practice  as a cognitive-behavioral psychologist shows that with the right tools people readily learn to elevate and maintain emotional well-being and happiness.  At the Think Right Feel Right Blogoscope you will find the behavioral tools and techniques that help to ward off anxiety, depression and addiction. You will learn about ways to defeat troubling emotions such as anger, worry and sadness. You will also find practical strategies for increasing self-esteem, positivity and for being a happier you.

Fixing Intrinsic Self-Esteem.  In yesterday's post, I heralded the importance of self love for mental health and happiness. Self-love is the mainstay for emotional health.  Many walk the planet without nearly enough self-esteem and pay a heavy price for doing so. Because self love and self-esteem are so vital to emotional health, I discuss these topics in depth in Think Right, Feel Right.  Today, I want to suggest a good starting point for improving self love or intrinsic self-esteem: the corrective cognition.

I use the term, corrective cognition,  to refer to a new thought or belief that is designed to correct the way we think, feel, and behave. For example, if I worry about taking tests, a corrective cognition might be, "No sense worrying about it.  I will prepare for the test and just do the best I can."  Since self-love, self-esteem, and self-nurturance are all rooted in thought, you can use corrective cognitions to change and improve the way you think about them and thereby elevate your self-worth, self-esteem and  inclination to be more self-nurturing.

An example of a corrective cognition for self love is: "I am fully committed to deeply love myself, unconditionally, forever." This thought may sound strange.  It does sound strange to those who are not accustomed to thinking about themselves in this way. However, this new way of thinking has helped to inflate thousands of emotional flat tires!

Corrective cognitions only work if we use them.  If we drop the ball, and do not give ourselves the chance to endorse the new corrective cognition, we lose out on our hopes for change.  As a remedy for this problem, I developed something I call a six-step plan.  The six-step plan encourages proper follow through and promotes successful change.  I will discuss this concept in a future post. Remember to stay tuned to #ThinkRightFeelRight for more practical #self-help

#Mental Health and #Happiness: What's #Love Got To Do With It? (Part 1)

Experience gained from my 30+ years in practice as a cognitive-behavioral psychologist shows that with the right tools people readily learn to elevate and maintain emotional well-being and happiness. At the Think Right Feel Right Blogoscope you will find the behavioral tools and techniques that help to ward off anxiety, depression and addiction. You will learn about ways to defeat troubling emotions such as anger, worry and sadness. You will also find practical strategies for increasing self-esteem, positivity and for being a happier you.

So what does love have to do with mental health and happiness?  Love has a great deal to do with it and so do you.  You need it and, you need to be doing it:  You need to love you!

Notice, I did not say: like you, try to love you, love you sometimes,  love you somewhat, or let someone else do it for you.  No, it is really important for you to love you,  no "ifs," no "buts," and no "maybes."  Do it right.  Go all in, no stutter-stepping.

Strong and unwavering self love creates essential emotional resources: it authenticates and deepens self-esteem;  it promotes proper caring and self-nurturance, and it strengthens personal security and resilience.  These are the essential ingredients for emotional health.  When self love is weak, we lack these essential  resources, and our mental health and happiness suffer.

If you think I might be overstating the importance of self-love, keep this in mind:  In over 30 years of private practice work, all or almost all of my clients were lacking in the ability to love themselves correctly, lacking in the ability to self-nurture correctly, and not surprisingly, symptomatic and unhappy as a result.

If you didn't learn how to love yourself enough while you were growing up (sadly, many have not), you owe it to yourself to learn how to do so now. Your emotional health and happiness depend upon it. 

Remember to stay tuned to #ThinkRightFeelRight for more practical #self-help