How To Lock In Behavior Change: What Does Love Have To Do With It? Part 3

Experience gained from my 30+ years  in practice as a cognitive-behavioral psychologist shows that with the right tools people readily learn to elevate and maintain emotional well-being and happiness. 

At the Think Right Feel Right Blogoscope you will find the behavioral tools and techniques that help to ward off anxiety, depression and addiction.  You will learn about ways to defeat troubling emotions such as anger, worry and sadness.  You will also find practical strategies for increasing self-esteem, positivity and for being a happier you. 

How to Lock In Behavior Change.  Sadly, as New Year's resolutions have shown, good intentions are often ineffective strategies for behavior change.  If we want to succeed at our efforts to lose weight, stop worry, be on time, or acquire self-esteem, we need to follow a strategy that promotes effective follow through. To lock in more successful change, I encourage people to create and follow a six-step plan.  A six-step plan clarifies the necessary elements for behavior change and locks in the essential follow through that is needed for success.  

A six-step plan assures more reliable improvement in self-esteem. Preparing a good plan entails developing clear answers for each of the following: who is responsible, what is the desired behavior, when will it occur, where will it occur, how often will it occur, is the goal attained, and finally, did I miss any steps today.  

So, if I want to improve my self-esteem with a corrective cognition, my six-step plan might look something like this:

1) I will think,

2) I am fully committed to love myself, unconditionally, forever

3) Ten times a day.

4) Prompting this thought each time I use the stairs,

5) For 30 days, or until this new way of thinking becomes my

    customary way of thinking about myself,

6) And, at the end of each day, I will check to make sure that I
    completed my six-step plan and, if not, I will complete steps 2
    and 3 before I go to bed tonight.   

The idea behind  using six-step plans is to make sure that we  have thought through the details about behavior change  and that we are following through on them correctly.  Step 2 highlights the precise wording of the corrective cognition.  Step 6 is there to prevent slippage or failure through oversight. These techniques are discussed in greater detail in Think Right, Feel Right .  

Remember to stay tuned to #ThinkRightFeelRight for more practical #self-help

      

The CBT Tool Set For Self Love: What's Love Got To Do With It? (Part 2)

Experience gained from a 30+ year practice  as a cognitive-behavioral psychologist shows that with the right tools people readily learn to elevate and maintain emotional well-being and happiness.  At the Think Right Feel Right Blogoscope you will find the behavioral tools and techniques that help to ward off anxiety, depression and addiction. You will learn about ways to defeat troubling emotions such as anger, worry and sadness. You will also find practical strategies for increasing self-esteem, positivity and for being a happier you.

Fixing Intrinsic Self-Esteem.  In yesterday's post, I heralded the importance of self love for mental health and happiness. Self-love is the mainstay for emotional health.  Many walk the planet without nearly enough self-esteem and pay a heavy price for doing so. Because self love and self-esteem are so vital to emotional health, I discuss these topics in depth in Think Right, Feel Right.  Today, I want to suggest a good starting point for improving self love or intrinsic self-esteem: the corrective cognition.

I use the term, corrective cognition,  to refer to a new thought or belief that is designed to correct the way we think, feel, and behave. For example, if I worry about taking tests, a corrective cognition might be, "No sense worrying about it.  I will prepare for the test and just do the best I can."  Since self-love, self-esteem, and self-nurturance are all rooted in thought, you can use corrective cognitions to change and improve the way you think about them and thereby elevate your self-worth, self-esteem and  inclination to be more self-nurturing.

An example of a corrective cognition for self love is: "I am fully committed to deeply love myself, unconditionally, forever." This thought may sound strange.  It does sound strange to those who are not accustomed to thinking about themselves in this way. However, this new way of thinking has helped to inflate thousands of emotional flat tires!

Corrective cognitions only work if we use them.  If we drop the ball, and do not give ourselves the chance to endorse the new corrective cognition, we lose out on our hopes for change.  As a remedy for this problem, I developed something I call a six-step plan.  The six-step plan encourages proper follow through and promotes successful change.  I will discuss this concept in a future post. Remember to stay tuned to #ThinkRightFeelRight for more practical #self-help